By: Jonathan Goad
If you haven’t read Part I, I’d recommend doing that before continuing on to more of the hilariously named Minor League ball clubs.
That is now out of the way, so let’s get into some more of my favorite Minor League Team Names.
Florida Fire Frogs (Atlanta Braves)
We’re starting Part II off with a bang. The Fire Frogs. Doesn’t that sounds awesome while also potentially kinda cute? Apparently, a “fire frog” existed some 280 million years ago. Scientists found the fossil of one down in Brazil. While it is uncertain if this ball club named their team after this ancient amphibian, they did an amazing job. The logo is fantastic, and the unknown about this flammable frog might be the most intimidating feature. They also have something called “Free Beer Thursdays” that needs to be looked into further once the season gets going again. That alone might be worth the drive down.
Lakeland Flying Tigers (Detroit Tigers)
Apparently, just “Tigers” isn’t enough. How do you make tigers more intimidating? Give them the ability of flight. As a former tiger myself, I can speak on the behalf of all former tigers. We would had loved to be the flying tigers. The tiger is used a lot in the sports world. Make it unique by giving them wings. Now we’re talking. Imagine if tigers really could fly. Humans would no longer be the dominant species. Flying Tigers would rule the world.
Upon further research, a Flying Tiger is simply a tiger with a pilot’s license. What an unfortunate discovery.
Augusta GreenJackets (San Francisco Giants)
My initial thought was that this team played in Augusta, Georgia, the home of the Augusta National Golf Club and the Masters Tournament. For those unaware, the winner of the Masters wins a green jacket. My thinking was “cool, they are showing some respect to the history of Augusta.” That’s where I went wrong. First, this team plays in North Augusta, South Carolina. Second, IT’S A FREAKIN’ BEE! Like their cousins the yellow jackets, these flying pests carry a nasty sting. Or I suppose they do. I don’t really know if green jackets are a real thing. I bet originally they were going to be the yellow jackets, but the owner didn’t like the color yellow. Some young guy in marketing, trying to make his mark shouted, “Make the bee green!” It obviously worked.
Clinton LumberKings (Miami Marlins)
Another Marlins affiliate. They may not win very many games, but they sure know how to pick a team name. These woodsmen play in Iowa. I don’t know about you, but I don’t think of lumber when I think of Iowa. Maybe they don’t either because they didn’t go with lumberjacks. They doubled-down and went with LumberKings. Not only are they lumberjacks, they’re the best damn lumberjacks in the business. Or they’re from a royal family. Either way, you should see what they can do with wood in their hands.
Fort Wayne TinCaps (San Diego Padres)
When you hear the word “tincaps,” what comes to mind? Is it an apple with a pot on its head? Yeah, me either. But that is exactly what it is! This club plays its home games in Fort Wayne, Indiana. I assume Fort Wayne, Indiana has something to do with Johnny Appleseed because that’s the vibe I’m getting from this apple. This team name is definitely creative. I’ll give them that. After further research, the team name was opened up to the town of Fort Wayne, and Johnny Appleseed did reside there. While paying homage to a famous member of the community is nice, I think they should have went with “Fort Wayne Crazy Uncles.”
Greensboro Grasshoppers (Pittsburgh Pirates)
In many communities, grasshoppers are considered to be pests. Maybe that’s the way this Pittsburgh Pirates’ affiliate plays the game of baseball. They just hang around all game long until they bug you into submission. See what I did there? Intimidating? Probably not. Unique? Very much so. Green? You bet your ass they’re green.
Lansing Lugnuts (Toronto Blue Jays)
Lansing is about an hour and a half outside of Detroit. It’s also the capital of Michigan. So, I can understand it wanting to honor the automobile industry that Michigan is known for. The biggest issue with this team name is the logo. For one, look at the face. He’s clearly upset about something. Second, I think he’s upset because he is not a lug nut, even though the team is called the lug nuts. I think someone in marketing may be a little nuts or have a few screws loose.
Where I’m from, that is a bolt. These are lug nuts.
Hickory Crawdads (Texas Rangers)
Crustaceans seem to be a theme among Minor League clubs. This team features the lesser known cousin to Jumbo Shrimp or Stone Crabs. However, they’re equally as delicious when they’re cooked right, Cajun style. Most people wouldn’t be intimidated by a crawdad, but look at that logo. He definitely has mischief on his mind, and you better watch out because crawdads have pinchers that can cause some mild pain. Don’t mess with the Crawdads.
Auburn Doubledays (Washington Nationals)
I absolutely have no idea what a Doubleday is. Before researching it, I can’t even come up with a guess. If I had to guess, I’d say it’s something having to do with the region they play ball in. Let’s find out.
Well this is a bit embarrassing. The Doubledays are named after Abner Doubleday. He’s credited with inventing baseball and was also a Civil War general. And apparently he had a big ol’ mustache. These are facts I should have known. I apologize and promise to be better. That is one epic mustache.
Vermont Lake Monsters (Oakland A’s)
Mother flippin’ Lake Monsters. Heck yeah! This squad is named after the Lake Champlain Lake Monster named “Champ” or “Champy.” He’s pretty much the American version of Nessie of Loch Ness. A lake monster is a pretty awesome name and they are totally real. Haven’t you seen that picture of Nessie? Totally real. Why can’t one exist in the northeastern part of the U.S.? It’s totally possible. Although, the logo sort of looks like Leonardo of the Ninja Turtles, which I’m also not mad about.
That wraps up this selection of awesome team names. Which is your favorite?