By: Bryce Fields

Let’s be honest with ourselves – high school (and prep basketball, specifically) is a gigantic sham. These coaches somehow, someway, bring in “teenage” basketball stars from every corner of the country and the world to play on their teams in the wildest situations.

These young men will do everything from live with strangers to be put up in a hotel by these adults who are so focused on winning, they will do whatever it takes— We turn a blind-eye and say it’s for the betterment of these kids’ lives, careers, and futures, but we all know what it is really about: money.

The players get to showcase their talents to eventually get to play college basketball (and probably get paid) and the coaches get paid for winning. It’s a corrupt system that no one really cares about because it seems beneficial for everyone, including the fans.

While usually one doesn’t care about this, a certain asshole named Mike Woodbury has changed that mindset for the time being. Woodbury, CEO and basketball director of The Nation Christian Academy in Port St. Lucie, Florida, had a video clip of himself put on YouTube (potentially by a rival coach, but that is a story for another time) going bat-shit crazy on one of his players, where he says some of the most hellacious things I have ever heard in my life.

In the video, an angry Woodbury says things like, ““Listen, I’m the one thing you don’t want to cross because I’m the dirtiest, baddest mother***er on this earth,” and, “I’m gonna f**k you in the ass,” to player Marvens Petion when discussing about (Petion) transferring schools. Also says to Petion, who is Haitian, that, “I control where you go next. It could be back to Haiti mother***er.” Obviously, this dude is a piece of shit.

Here is the thing – in the past couple days, it has only gotten worse. Former players are stepping up to tell their stories on Woodbury’s audacious behavior, which includes calling his former female basketball players “sperm banks” and saying to an African-American player that if she did not play better, there would be a hate-crime. I mean seriously, at this point, I am not sure why no one has beat the shit out of him. Personally, I’d like to “Cash him ouside”, howbowdah?

What moved me from thinking this guy was an asshole to thinking he is just out of his mind is that after being contacted about the incident with Petion, he wasn’t even apologetic about it. Actually, he said that he thinks Petion will understand the lessons he taught him when he’s a grown man.

Moral of the story: Mike Woodbury is an egotistical, racist, asshole who deserves bad things to happen to him. Sorry, not sorry— go kick rocks, Woodbury.