Dave Trubisky 237.75 (W) vs. Mr. McGiblets 158.60 (L)
Dave continues to not start his son, Mitch, who outscored Brady again. However, it didn’t matter. The Trubisky’s took Mr. McGiblets behind the woodshed and…well…that’s descriptive enough. Great plug and play for Mr. McGiblets by starting Denver’s defense who made an appearance on the Perfect Line-Up. It’d be hard for Mr. McGiblets to blame anyone but himself for having such a terrible team.
Vinegar Strokes 200.80 (W) vs. The Jedi Knights 166.20 (L)
The Jedi Knights once again couldn’t fight off the dark side, take advantage of Andy Dalton’s abysmal game, or take advantage of Patrick Mahomes making it onto the Perfect Line-Up team. Alshon Jeffrey, Saquon Barkley, and James White were a force of their own (solid pun). The Jedi Knights looked like the Death Star version one this week—too many holes.
JJ Top Goad Bottom 223.35 (W) vs. Vaginal Hubris 158.55 (L)
Neither JJ is on top nor is Goad on bottom, but JJ Top Goad Bottom is on top after moving to 6-1. They got great production from the WR spot with three of the top nine receivers this week. When does having hubris become sad and pathetic?
Taco Corp 219.00 (W) vs. Sexual Tyrannosaur 177.85 (L)
Taco Corp didn’t do anything too fancy this week, but picked up the win anyway. Even with four players not scoring their projected points, TE George Kittle and the Rams defense made up for it. But Even his bench scored a bunch of points. Sexual Tyrannosaur? More like Asexual Lizard.
Slob on my cobb 198.00 (W) vs. Non-generic TeamName 188.00(L)
The Missouri Pizza Co. game of the week had a difference of only ten points. The result could have been different had Non-generic TeamName started both of the top WRs instead of only one. Zach’s Team got over 110 points from Luck, Odell, and O.J. (not that O.J.), but the rest of his team just kinda sucked. He also left Emmanuel Sanders on his bench who made it to the Perfect Line-Up. Ouch dude. Slob on my cobb had a solid week from his entire team except Alex Smith. He played like the game manager he is.
Perfect Weekly Line-Up (Week 7)
QB: (KC) Patrick Mahomes vs. CIN – 75.40 (The Jedi Knights)
RB: (KC) Kareem Hunt vs. CIN – 51.20 (Vaginal Hubris)
RB: (IND) Marlon Mack vs. BUF – 47.80 (JJ Top Goad Bottom’s bench)
WR: (NYG) Odell Beckham Jr. vs. ATL – 42.40 (Non-generic TeamName)
WR: (DEN) Emmanuel Sanders vs. ARI – 41.80 (Non-generic TeamName’s bench)
WR: (BAL) John Brown vs. NO – 39.80 (Dave Trubisky)
TE: (CHI) Trey Burton vs. NE – 50.20 (Sexual Tyrannosaur)
K: (DET) Matt Prater vs. MIA – 15.00 (Taco Corp)
DEF: Denver vs. ARI – 44.00 (Mr. McGiblets)