JJ Top Goad Bottom- 224.05 (W) Vs. Taco Corp- 177.05 (L)
Taco Corp bottom’d this week, getting bent over a barrel while JJ Top Goad Bottom showed him the 50 states. That bottom wasn’t the only nice plug, as JJ Top Goad Bottom inserted Latavius Murray (38.60 Points) for a very nice weekly “plug and play” that catapulted this victory. Davante Adams appeared in the “Perfect Weekly Lin-Up” for the second consecutive week, though it proved to not be enough as the rest of the team was god awful. Taco Corp falls to 2-4 while JJ Top Goad Bottom advances to 5-1 at the “Top” of the league.
Dave Trubisky- 213.30 (W) Vs. Sexual Tyrannosaur- 202.15 (L)
Dave benches son again and somehow avoids disaster as Mitch Trubisky out produced, starter, Tom Brady, by nearly 20 points. However, so much “wrong” is made “right“ when you have a player like Todd Gurley who posted 59 points, making him the #2 RB for week 6. Not sure what Sexual Tyrannosaur was thinking on this one, as he made the decision to start Blake Bortles??? The real life Jacksonville Jaguars don’t even want to start Blake Bortles.
The Jedi Knights- 240.70 (W) Vs. Vaginal Hubris- 198.85 (L)
The Force was strong with this one scoring the second highest total for week 6 while still benching the #1 QB in Jameis Winston. Speaking of QB’s, Vaginal Hubris’ Deshaun Watson was The Jedi Knights favorite player this week as 5 players that WERE’NT QB’s outscored him. Had he shown up, this would have been a classic barn burner.
Vinegar Strokes- 246.05 (W) Vs. Non-generic TeamName- 179.05 (Team Zach) (L)
Vinegar Strokes painted the walls with pure perfection this week posting week 6’s highest team total. The #1 RB, Saquon Barkley led Vinegar Strokes left in the middle of the night giving Team Zach a fake number and a fake name. It’s always a good week when this guy loses. Vinegar Strokes just here to serve– A real American Hero.
Slobb on my Cobb- 230.55 (W) Vs. Mr. McGiblets- 229.30 (L)
The Missouri Pizza Co. game of the week features a margin of victory by 1.25 points. Mr. McGiblets had Slobb on my Cobb puckered up nice and tight for the stretch of the entire game on Monday Night Football (Packers Vs. 49ers). Slobb pulled off the victory due to week 6’s #1 WR Tyreek Hill going bonkers for 142 yards and 3 TD’s. Tough loss. Great win.
Perfect Weekly Line-Up (Week 5)
QB: (TB) Jameis Winston Vs. ATL- 74.45 (The Jedi Knights)
RB: (NYG) Saquon Barkley Vs. PHI- 60.80 (Vinegar Strokes)
RB: (LAR) Todd Gurley Vs. DEN- 59.00 (Dave Trubisky)
WR: (KC) Tyreek Hill Vs. NE- 53.40 (Slobb on my Cobb)
WR: (GB) Davante Adams Vs. SF- 48.40 (Taco Corp)
WR: (MIA) Albert Wilson Vs. CHI- 48.00 (Free Agent)
TE: (ATL) Austin Hooper Vs. TB- 29.20 (Free Agent)
K: (NYJ) Jason Myers Vs. IND- 27.00 (Free Agent)
Def: Baltimore Vs. TEN- 34.00 (Sexual Tyrannosaur)