NFL

A BanterCampfire Story: Wisconsin man charged with kidnapping after cornering co-worker to discuss fantasy football team

MILWAUKEE, WI- A Fox Point man was charged with two counts of kidnapping after a co- worker described a, “hellish fantasy nightmare,” to police. Robert E. Marshall, a property manager of the Sloppy Slipper Motel on Worthington Boulevard, was arrested after an employee of the glorified flop house filed a report with Milwaukee P.D., alleging her boss trapped her in the hotel last week, and talked, at length, about his fantasy football team.

Rosalind Myer says that, during her mid-morning cleaning activities in the motel, Marshall entered one of the rooms as she stripped the sheets from a presumably odorous, fluid-soaked mattress.

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“He just walked in the room, closed to door, and started ranting about football,” Myer recalls as tears trickle down her face.

“I said something about the Packers and he told me to give him an effing break.”

From there, the story only gets more horrifying. Myer says she tried to steer the conversation towards the Green Bay Packers, the only team she has any real working knowledge of. Marshall was not interested in discussing the hometown team, however, instead focusing on disappointing performances from the likes of Miami running back Kenyan Drake and historically overvalued Tennessee quarterback, Marcus Mariota.

Rosalind, frightened, confused and bored out of her mind, politely smiled and nodded along with Marshall’s tales of despair. From there, the increasingly perturbed Marshall lamented about not drafting Patrick Mahomes, clapping his hands together in a show of regret and frustration.

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Myer claims her boredom became more worrisome when she caught herself yawning four times in under thirty seconds.

“He began talking about his kicker situation and started to drone on and on about the field conditions and misleading weather reports,” Myer remembers.

“At that point, I could feel myself dozing off. I cannot afford to get caught sleeping on the job, so I made a run for it.”

The talkative manager noticed Rosalind’s growing disinterest, but as she made her way towards the exit, Marshall pulled what authorities refer to as, “the block and gab.”
Detective Daniel Hawes of the Milwaukee Police Department explains.

“At that point, the victim says she tried to leave the motel room, but the suspect impeded her exit with his formidable girth,” Hawes tells reporters at a Tuesday afternoon press conference.

He then continued to shower her with tales of “… my (his) wide receivers’ inability to score in the red zone, despite being in the top 10 in targets. It’s torturous. It turns my stomach.”

Myer was terrified of the apathy that had started to overwhelm her mind, body and spirit. As Marshall described his week 2 fantasy heartbreak, a nail-biting loss against his brother’s Title Town Tit Grabbers, Rosalind felt herself slipping into the abyss.

When Marshall’s flip phone rang, the woman, weak with indifference, saw her chance at freedom and shuffled past her distracted boss.

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After consulting with family members that evening, Myer was convinced she should file a police report.

“You just feel for the victim in this case,” explains a stoic, yet emotional, Det. Hawes.

“Nobody deserves that kind of trauma. Nobody.”

Robert Marshall remains in Milwaukee County Jail and has reportedly received numerous inmate beatings in response to his continued fantasy chatter. Some people never learn.

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