My dear, unnamed, friend:

I learned a lot about why you leave your name off these posts after reading that clapback at me and my beloved National Basketball Association. I wouldn’t put my name on such a “cold” take, either.

Or, perhaps, it’s hard to fit all the names below the headline? You’re regurgitating the same tired talking points as so many middle-aged dudes I talk to, that I can only assume this was a group effort…and that you’re all either insurance salesmen or accountants. Either way, the fun has long been drained out of you. Go with the No Fun League and enjoy your jorts fellas….

It’s genuinely baffling that you think any of this would rile me up all that much; I’ve had this argument a hundred times. It’s the same story over and over: Dude who doesn’t follow the league has stone cold takes about a product he barely consumes. Is it annoying? Sure. But mostly, I know this league just isn’t for you. Regardless, I’ll play your game and chop some of these arguments down in short order.

The NBA Is No Fun to Watch and the Warriors Will Win Anyway:

Let’s start with your immediate contradiction of your first article. By the third line of that article you proclaim to “love the game.” However, by paragraph three of your follow up, you don’t think this season is worth watching; this approaching season in particular. So, do you actually like the NBA, or do you watch some highlights on SportsCenter and form an armchair opinion on everything you don’t see?

Personally, it sounds like you’re the most casual of NBA fans, but you want to talk about it like a diehard. Perhaps you really are this upset about the Warriors though? I don’t blame you there. Seriously, screw the Golden State Warriors. I’ll write that in every post I make. We agree they’re the favorite by a wide margin, I said as much in my first post. You can look at any league and pick the favorites before the season though, even if Golden State is an extreme example. As the old adage goes, “That’s why they play the games.”

From this take I gather that you must be a huge front runner. You’ve never been a fan of a team that wasn’t going to win a title? No storylines are worth following over the course of a season if it doesn’t end in a champagne soaked celebration? I knew my beloved Cardinals weren’t going to the World Series this year, but I’ve still had fun following my favorite players play out the year while some young talent develops. With the NBA, I get to have my cake and eat it, too. The Thunder figure to contend, and I have a whole league’s worth of development to follow on the side.

NBA Pop Culture:

This is an argument so poorly constructed it should be condemned. All of sport is a part of popular culture. Is keeping a close eye on NBA Twitter to enhance my enjoyment of the season any different than playing fantasy football or baseball? Don’t they all serve to make us more invested in players, teams and narratives outside of the ones we would typically follow?

I’m willing to bet the guy “who’d rather scroll through Twitter than watch guys go one-on-one” has probably killed a few afternoons watching the NFL Red Zone Channel; a channel designed to skip the boring part of football games and get to the fantasy relevant scoring playings. Spoiler alert: the boring part is just about everything else during the game! Unless you’re an NFL diehard who wants to watch the game for the little moments you enjoy. Sounds familiar to me…

Sport is entertainment, that’s what we’re all here for. Each one has its own culture surrounding it, and the NBA appeals most to me. If it doesn’t appeal as much to you that’s cool, but it’s not boring because you’re only willing to wade into the shallow end of the pool. All those storylines I brought up are legitimate headline makers within in the league. Situations that can affect the course of franchises for seasons to come, long after this era of Warrior Dominance reaches its rapidly approaching ends. These are big stories that have been, or will be playing out over months or years. Genuinely high stakes stuff within the NBA. It’s fascinating to me to watch them play out and how they affect long-term strategies. Perhaps you just don’t have the patience to follow such things? Maybe you’re more of a “Friends” person than a “Game of Thrones” type. I get it, all those names get real confusing….

Russell Westbrook’s Fashion:

Russ is my dude. I can’t say it enough. I’ll write my own post to defend him as a player with the type of fire that he deserves. However, I’ll stick up for my dude’s fashion choices right here.

I appreciate the man’s eccentricities. Russell has a genuine interest in fashion and likes to have fun with that. Personally, I find that cats who make fun of a person with a defined sense of style don’t have one of their own. It’s why I’m so sure that jorts tweet up above, rings true. Like all the other takes in your post, it doesn’t line up with what you like, so it’s dumb. Boring. Russ is a man comfortable in his own skin and his fashion sense reflects that. He’s not on Twitter creating burner accounts to defend himself like some people….

Kevin Durant is Efficient:

WELL I’D DAMN WELL HOPE SO! He was one of the best scorers the league had ever seen before moving to Oakland. Shocking that his offensive skill set would be allowed to reach its highest level playing with two of the greatest shooters in the history of the league. Congrats to Kev, he looks like a world beater playing with guys that could open the floor enough for me to score in the NBA.

Honestly, that’s all I can tackle without falling asleep from boredom. I’d go back and reread your post to find something else easily refutable, but I’d get more joy out of reading a Terms & Conditions agreement. If you need me, I’ll be off playing 2K19 to help ease the excitement I have for the imminent beginning of the season.

Pearl Jam rules.