NFL

NFL Week 3 Recap: Apologize When You Tackle

By: Jonathan Goad

Week 3 gave us a few surprises and some things we definitely expected. Some teams are still good, some are still bad, and some…who really knows?

New York Jets                   17

Cleveland Browns           21

baker dance.gif

Baker Mayfield established himself as a starting QB in the NFL (the announcement was made on Monday). Cleveland did not need to officially announce the decision as Mayfield led Cleveland to their first win in almost two years. Is it too early to call Mayfield a success in the NFL? He did get Cleveland a win…

New Orleans Saints        43

Atlanta Falcons                37

western shootout

This was the shootout everyone hoped it would be AND some. Drew Brees and Matt Ryan put on clinics. The defenses were completely absent in this overtime thriller. Wait a minute…I’m getting word that they actually did put defenses on the field. We’ll get our research team on that right away because that doesn’t seem accurate. Michael Thomas continued his incredible pace with ten more catches, and Alvin Kamara had 15 catches. Both easily topped the century mark in receiving yards. Let’s all officially welcome Calvin Ridley to the NFL. He outperformed Julio Jones with his seven catches for 146 yards and three touchdowns. Roll Tide indeed.

Green Bay Packers           17

Washington Redskins      31

clay matthews pic

In this game, we learned that a perfect form tackle will still get you a 15 yard penalty. We’re just as frustrated as you are. We also learned that the Packers are a confusing team. We’ve figured out Adrian Peterson’s success schedule. He’ll have a nice game every other week. At least that’s the pattern right now. Although, the Redskins might be for real.

Indianapolis Colts            16

Philadelphia Eagles         20

Carson Wentz made his much anticipated return to the field and played well enough to get a win, although he did turn the ball over twice. Andrew Luck would definitely benefit from having a decent RB. My sources tell me Le’Veon Bell is available…Anytime Luck is your leading rusher, you’re not going to have a good time.

Buffalo Bills                      27

Minnesota Vikings          6

*Checks final score again to make sure that’s not a typo. It’s not.

Even Buffalo didn’t think this would happen. After getting down early, Minnesota completely abandoned the running game. Six total carries for 14 yards is very bad. I’m not exactly sure what Buffalo did but they should keep doing it.

Oakland Raiders               20

Miami Dolphins                 28

The Raiders are bad. The Dolphins are undefeated. Yep, you read that right.

surprised

Ryan Tannehill had another real solid game with 289 yards and three TDs on 17 completions in 23 attempts. The Dolphins are playing very well, even without much of a running game. How long can they keep this up? Well, they play New England next week; so we’ll find out pretty quick. Oakland, do you miss Khalil Mack yet?

Denver Broncos                 14

Baltimore Ravens              27

The Broncos had a great first quarter, but that’s about it. They scored all of their points in that quarter, and I guess they thought that would be enough. It wasn’t. Baltimore scored the final 20 points of the game. Great job, Denver, on winning the first quarter, though…

Cincinnati Bengals            21

Carolina Panthers             31

Cam Newton had four total TDs and Christian McCaffrey ran all over the Bengals. Andy Dalton threw four picks. You could ask why Carolina didn’t win by more than 10.

New York Giants               27

Houston Texans                22

The G-Men got their first win of the season, and Eli Manning played a significant part in that. He was very efficient completing 25 of 29 passes for 297 yards and two TDs. Saquon Barkley continued his quest for the Rookie of the Year award. Houston has a lot to figure out as they fell to 0-3 on the young season. It was nice to see J.J. Watt return to form though. He had three sacks and a forced fumble in the loss.

 jj watt

Tennessee Titans             9

Jacksonville Jaguars       6

The Jags lost to the Titans. That’s about it. At least the kickers got a workout?

San Francisco 49ers          27

Kansas City Chiefs             38

The Chiefs offense is for real, as is Patrick Mahomes. What’s crazy is that Sammy Watkins put together two good weeks in a row, and that the Chiefs did this well without much help from Tyreek Hill. The Niners also lost Jimmy G. for the remainder of the season. It’s back to being the doormat of the NFC for San Francisco.

Los Angeles Chargers      23

Los Angeles Rams             35

battle LA

In the battle for Los Angeles, the Rams came out on top. Jared Goff out dueled Philip Rivers. Todd Gurley is still incredible, and Robert Woods put together a very nice game for the fantasy owners who started him. The Rams continue to show everyone that they are serious contenders; while it’s back to the drawing board for the Chargers.

Dallas Cowboys                 13

Seattle Seahawks              24

Ezekiel Elliott showed up for the game, but no other Cowboy did. Chris Carson toted the football a whopping 32 times for 102 yards and a score. The Seahawks got a much-needed win as the second spot in the NFC West is totally up for grabs.

Chicago Bears                     16

Arizona Cardinals             14

Speaking of the NFC West, the Cardinals are bad. They’ve already decided to start Josh Rosen in Week 4 and I can’t blame them at all. Maybe he’ll get the ball to David Johnson. Meanwhile, Da Bears lead the NFC North. Who woulda thunk it?

 da bears

New England Patriots    10

Detroit Lions                     26

The Pats are now 1-2 and just lost to the Lions. Did new Lions coach Matt Patricia really mean that much to New England? Maybe he pulled a total Pats move and filmed their practices or deflated the footballs. Something had to be rigged in favor of the Lions. However, Kerryon Johnson looked like a stud running back against the poor Patriots defense. Let’s give Johnson the benefit of the doubt and say it was him who looked good and not the defense who looked awful.

Pittsburgh Steelers          30

Tampa Bay Buccaneers   27

It looked like the FitzMagic might be going out, but there is still a flicker of hope left. He tried to lead a comeback on the Steelers, who stopped scoring in the second half for some reason, but ended up falling short. Gerald McCoy did apologize to Big Ben though for hitting him. That’s what the NFL has become; apologizing for hitting too hard is a thing now.

Except this was not awesome, Mr. Joseph. Apologize after the game, not in the heat of the battle.

Things we learned this week:

  1. Don’t tackle too hard, guys. Feelings get hurt when you do that.
  2. The Chiefs plan is only to outscore opponents. It’s worked so far.
  3. Surprising teams with one win: New England, Pittsburgh, Green Bay, Atlanta, Minnesota, LA Chargers, and Cleveland (crazy right?).
  4. Khalil Mack is worth the money.
  5. Only three undefeated teams remain: the Rams, Chiefs, and Dolphins. Who falls first?