By: Jonathan Goad
Week 2 is in the books. Teams should have a good grasp on who they are this year.
Week 2 did teach us a few things, though.
Baltimore Ravens 23
Cincinnati Bengals 34
Remember when we said, “A.J. Green is still A.J. Green”? Well, he A.J. Green’d even more this week. Three touchdowns in the first will lead to that. We also said the Flacco is elite against bad teams. Well, the Bengals are not a bad team, by any means. He did have three turnovers, which led to Baltimore’s defeat. Joe Mixon did suffer a knee injury so keep an eye on that, fantasy owners.
Carolina Panthers 24
Atlanta Falcons 31
Telvin Coleman is a solid running back, too bad he’s a backup. Calvin Ridley caught his first NFL touchdown. Cam Newton looked like a capable passer, but couldn’t complete the comeback. Atlanta played much better in Week 2. Look for them to continue getting better.
Indianapolis Colts 21
Washington Redskins 9
Maybe we were a little premature calling Adrian Peterson “outstanding.” Twenty rushing yards on eleven carries is not a good average. The Redskins did hit some field goals, but the Colts were scoring touchdowns. That’s the recipe for losing, Washington.
Houston Texans 17
Tennessee Titans 20
Will Fuller and DeAndre Hopkins both had real nice games; both with at least 110 receiving yards and a score. However, a couple late field goals from Titans kicker, Ryan Succop, ended up being the difference. Some guy named Cruikshank led the Titans in receiving with his one catch that went 66 yards for a touchdown on a fake punt. We don’t get to see a defensive back throw a touchdown to another defensive back. So, thank you, Tennessee.
Philadelphia Eagles 21
Tampa Bay Buccaneers 27
FitzMagic is keeping it alive! I’m convinced the power comes from his beard. Maybe he’s some kind of wizard…
Desean Jackson is proving that he’s still a worthy deep threat. Even without a running game, Tampa Bay might be for real. The Eagles probably should start running “Philly Special” every play.
Kansas City Chiefs 42
Pittsburgh Steelers 37
This was the shootout that we were all hoping to see. Early on, it looked like KC might run away with it, but Big Ben’s 60 pass attempts helped lead a comeback. That came up short however. Patrick Mahomes had six touchdown passes and Sammy Watkins was relevant, finally. James Conner was also brought back to Earth. It was nice while it lasted.
Miami Dolphins 20
New York Jets 12
Tannehill wasn’t flashy, but he got the job done. The Dolphins went up 20-0 and then put on cruise control. It did almost cost them, but last week’s Jets team didn’t show up. Kenyan Drake scored a touchdown; so that’s something…
F-I-S-H! FISH! FISH! FISH!
…wait dolphins aren’t fish…
Los Angeles Chargers 31
Buffalo Bills 20
The Bills are still bad. They did let Josh Allen start, though, so that’s an improvement. Melvin Gordon ended up with three touchdowns rewarding fantasy owners. Even though they won and Rivers had a nice game, I’m sure he found something to cry about.
Minnesota Vikings 29
Green Bay Packers 29
Conspiracy theorists believe that the NFL needed ratings, which led to a bogus roughing the passer call on Clay Matthews. Had that call not been made, the Packers would have won this game instead of both teams kissing their sisters. Kirk Cousins did end up with a great game despite the tie. The Vikings and Packers will be in a dogfight all season for the division title. Both of these teams are for real.
Cleveland Browns 18
New Orleans Saints 21
Cleveland, you were so close. I guess you got lost in the Brees. And now you’ve traded Josh Gordon? LeBron’s not coming back. Get over it.
Michael Thomas has about 300 catches already and Kamara had 99 total yards on 19 touches. Very Kamara-like.
Detroit Lions 27
San Francisco 49ers 30
The Lions are celebrating the Golladay season, but couldn’t dig for enough gold. The 49ers had that covered. (There’s a Golden Tate pun in there somewhere). Matt Breida had an excellent game thanks to his 66 yard TD run. Jimmy G. continues to be decent.
Arizona Cardinals 0
Los Angeles Rams 34
The Rams are really good. So is Todd Gurley. The Cardinals, on the other hand, are not so good. Only 14 touches for David Johnson? Come on, Arizona. It’s important to give you best player the ball.
New England Patriots 20
Jacksonville Jaguars 31
The Jaguars won the rematch of the AFC Championship game, and Blake Bortles looked like Tom Brady in this one. Maybe they switched uniforms before the game? Seriously though, 377 passing yards and 4 touchdowns. Well done, Blake! The Patriots did just get Josh Gordon, so their days of losing are over.
Oakland Raiders 19
Denver Broncos 20
Maybe Blake was right about Jon Gruden. Giving up 20 points in the second half while only scoring seven is not good football. Amari Cooper came out of hiding, but that only helped his fantasy owners who probably didn’t start him. I bet Khalil Mack would have helped, though.
New York Giants 13
Dallas Cowboys 20
Remember Tavon Austin? Neither did we until Sunday night’s matchup. He ended up just shy of 100 all-purpose yards and a touchdown. Saquon Barkley had ten more catches than Odell Beckham (14-4). I’m not sure that’s a recipe for success, but let’s chalk it up to trial and error. It almost worked, but almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.
Seattle Seahawks 17
Chicago Bears 24
Hey, Oakland! Khalil Mack played well again with a sack and forced fumble. Will Dissly made his weekly visit to the end zone, but in the end, the Seahawks came up short. Chicago may make it a three horse race in the NFC North division.
So what did we learn in Week 2?
- Everyone can use some FitzMagic in their lives.
- The Chiefs offense is darn good.
- The Steelers might need Le’Veon Bell.
- Khalil Mack is worth the money.
- The Rams are scary-good.
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