It was the week of 2’s- week 2, 2 teams undefeated, and 2 teams completely… defeated. Let’s jump right into it!

Vaginal Hubris- 192.90 (W) Vs. Taco Corp- 178.60 (L)

This week, diamonds weren’t a girl’s best friend, Zach Ertz was… for producing 11 catches on 13 targets for 94 yards. Vaginal Hubris “came from behind” in an upset win showing she was top “Taco” … dog. Taco Corp, we haven’t seen a meltdown like this since “2007 Britney Spears”… but less hot.

The Jedi Knights- 196.5 (W) Vs. Sexual Tyrannosaur- 190.85 (L)

The Jedi Knights move to 2-0 with another great week. Led by the league’s best RB corps with Alvin Kamara and Melvin Gordon, they “right” so many “wrongs” with Fitz underproducing and Greg the leg putting up an egg. Sexual Tyrannosaur had solid performances from his standouts, but it wasn’t enough to pull out the “W”. Jedi Knights win surpassed the adversity from benching this weeks #1 QB.

JJ Top Goad Bottom- 307.75 (W) Vs. Slob on my Cobb- 209.25 (L)

This match-up featured a league best with a grand total of 5 players in the “Perfect Weekly Line-Up”. JJ Top Goad Bottom started 4 of 5 of those featured players in RB Matt Breida (40.80), WR’s Adam Thielen (44.20) and JuJu Smith-Schuster (43.20) and top weekly Defense– Chicago Bears (26.00). Slob on my Cobb, led by Travis Kelce (#1 weekly TE) with 40.80 points, had another solid week but still falls 0-2 proving his name wrong and yet again being a sound “bottom” for others to use and abuse.

Zach’s Team- 187.95 (W) Vs. Mr. McGiblets- 165.65 (L)

Zach’s Team won. Better reporting will happen when this owner changes that gross generic name. Until then, cheer for whoever is playing “Zach’s Team”. Mr. McGiblets, I’m not mad… just disappointed.

Dave Trubisky- 245.80 (W) Vs. Vinegar Strokes- 228.50 (L)

Moving on to what was probably the best weekly match-up between 2 great teams, and by great, I mean one is great at winning and the other is great at losing. Mitch’s Dad, Dave, moves to 2-0 in this outing against Vinegar Strokes’ 0-2 start to the season. This match-up featured Vinegar Strokes’ #1 Weekly WR in Stefon Diggs (48.80) and Dave’s Kicker, Mason Crosby (#1 Weekly K) whom came through in a week where kickers massively suffered. Vinegar Strokes has been left with nothing but a concentrated look and an empty stare. As for Dave, solid week, Dad.

Perfect Weekly Line-Up (Week 2)

QB: (KC) Patrick Mahomes Vs PIT- 82.40 (The Jedi Knights)

RB: (CAR) Christian McCaffrey Vs. ATL- 41.80 (Zach’s Team)

RB: (SF) Matt Breida Vs. DET- 40.80 (JJ Top Goad Bottom)

WR: (MIN) Stefon Diggs Vs. GB- 48.80 (Vinegar Strokes)

WR: (MIN) Adam Thielen Vs. GB- 44.20 (JJ Top Goad Bottom)

WR: (PIT) JuJu Smith-Schuster Vs. KC- 43.20 (JJ Top Goad Bottom)

TE: (KC) Travis Kelce Vs. PIT- 40.80 (Slobb on my Cobb)

K: (GB) Mason Crosby Vs. MIN- 19.00 (Dave Trubisky)

Def: Chicago Bears Vs. SEA- 26.00 (JJ Top Goad Bottom)