I know it is a little late and we promise to be better.
First, some “high level” info about our league scoring system—(Still needs to be tweaked next year) We’ve tried to put an emphasis on QB’s. Making it more “real life”. A team with poor QB play, normally doesn’t produce well. Outside of QB play, this is a PPR league with 1 point per 5 yards rushing/receiving. Also, another important point, we use decimal scoring to avoid tying. Avoid from tying? Why? Because we’re American, that’s why.
Full offensive scoring breakdown will be at the very end of this article. However, without further delay, below are the results of Week 1 in the BanterCamp, Inc Fantasy Football League.
Taco Corp- 242.10 (W) Vs. Slob on my Cobb- 228.90 (L)
Taco Corp, led by Phillip Rivers and Keenan Allen, won in a tight match-up at the cusp of a Derek Carr meltdown thanks to the Rams D, and also produced the league’s highest point total. Though Slob on my Cobb did have a player in the “Perfect Weekly Line-Up” in Tyreek Hill, it wasn’t enough. 2-4-6-8 who do we appreciate… Slob on my Cobb….?
The Jedi Knights- 240.35 (W) Vs. JJ Top Goad Bottom- 182.80 (L)
The Jedi Knights really showed who was truly the top or the bottom in this one. Pun absolutely intended. In an overwhelming victory, The Jedi Knights had a total of 4 players on the “Perfect Weekly Line-Up” (most in league). After this week, JJ Top Goad Bottom, is looking at his phone hoping “he calls” after this walk of shame.
Sexual Tyrannosaur- 174.20 (W) Vs. Zach’s Team (cool name… not)- 156.95 (L)
Even in a total snooze-fest of non-producing teams, there’s still a winner and a loser. Sexual Tyrannosaur pulled this ugly looking “W” out from underneath “Zach’s Team” (1 of 2 of the guys that drafted blind due to not showing up to the “live draft”. And who would’ve thought, the guy who doesn’t show, also keeps his generic team name), led by none other than… a Defense (Baltimore D)? Zach, be better.
Mr. McGiblets- 211.35 (W) Vs. Vinegar Strokes- 210.70 (L)
Mr. McGiblets took a chance on drafting Brees as the 3rd QB off the board, and it paid dividends. Brees had the second highest scoring week of ALL players, rode in on his metaphorical horse and saved his week. Vinegar Strokes was led by Michael Thomas (whom earned a spot on the “Perfect Weekly Line-Up”) and was the primary beneficiary of Mr. McGiblets, Drew Brees. However, Vinegar Strokes, you gotta keep strokin’ if you want that first “W”.
Dave Trubisky- 241.35 (W) Vs. Vaginal Hubris- 148.10 (L)
(Vaginal Hubris) “Girls do it better”? Really? Maybe if, by better, you mean losing to someone who drafted his team blind (Dave Trubisky). In which, resulted in a punishment on drafting Mitch Trubisky in the 6th round thanks to the nice couple dining in at the best pizza joint in Missouri at Missouri Pizza Co in good Ol’ St. James, Missouri (Solid Plug). What an inspiration you are to little girls around the globe wanting to grow and excel in the male dominating culture of fantasy football, Vaginal Hubris… losing to a “Blind Man” (Dave Trubisky– low key, one of the best names in the league)? It could be worse though, you could be Hilary.
Perfect Weekly Line-Up
Brought to you by: Missouri Pizza Company
QB: (TB) Ryan Fitzpatrick vs NO- 79.55 (Waivers)
Runner Up: (NO) Drew Brees vs TB- 77.95 (Mr. McGiblets)
RB1: (NO) Alvin Kamara vs TB- 57.20 (The Jedi Knights)
RB2: (PIT) James Connor vs CLE- 53.40 (The Jedi Knights) Benched
WR1: (KC) Tyreek Hill vs LAC- 60.60 (Slob on my Cobb)
WR2: (NO) Michael Thomas vs (TB)- 56.00 (Vinegar Strokes)
WR3: (TB) Desean Jackson vs NO- 46.20 (The Jedi Knights)
TE: (OAK) Jared Cook vs LAR- 45.00 (Waivers)
K: (LAR) Greg Zuerlein vs OAK- 16.00 (The Jedi Knights)
DEF: New York Jets??? vs DET- 31.00 (Waivers)
BanterCamp, Inc Fantasy Football Offensive Scoring Breakdown
TD’s: 7 points
Interceptions: -2 points
Completions: 1 point
Incompletions: -.5 point
Passing Yards: 1 point per every 20 yards
Pick Six: -6
Fumbles Lost: -2
TD’s: 6 points
Receptions: 1 point
Rushing/Receiving Yards: 1 point per every 5 yards
Fumbles Lost: -2