The Campfire

America’s dumbest criminals strike again

It’s sweet, sweet justice anytime a criminal’s schemes are foiled; with this latest blunder more satisfying than usual.

By Neil Harrington

Our world deserves a better class of criminal. And, unlike the Joker, this latest offender does not deliver the goods — undoubtedly joining the list of America’s Dumbest Criminals hall of fame instead.

About a week ago, the offender — seen in the video surveillance below — walked into an E-Cig of Denver convenient store in Aurora, Colorado, with what appeared to be a pistol.

The unidentified man, rocking a Rockies cap and Broncos sweatshirt, fumbled his — come to find out — BB-gun; where it fell into the hands of the very woman he was (attempting) to rob.

He thought he could waltz into the store and walk away with the cash. Not with hands like that, buddy. Nice try.

The coward then panicked and fled out the door, nearly leaving his pants on the ground in his attempt.

Pants on the ground. Pants on the ground. You look like a fool with your pants on the ground.

Rubbing salt into his wound, the offender is known around the Denver area as the “Bumbling Bandit.”

The store owner, Chris Burgess couldn’t help but take a jab at the failed attempt of the wannabe robber.

“I don’t want to downplay the seriousness of an armed robbery, but the guy really does belong in the ‘world’s dumbest criminals. He needs to find a new career.”

Don’t quit your day job, that’s for sure, Bandit.

According to recent reports, the suspect is still on the run, but it’s only a matter of time before he fumbles his way into a Douglas County jail.

Next Post: The tragic, yet legendary flight of Richard Russell

Aurora and the nearby Littleton, Colorado have both been overwhelmed with tragedy over the years. It’s nice for them to win one for a change.