ESPN 8 ‘The Ocho’ is returning on August 8th, for a day of obscure funtivities — and most importantly. DODGEBALL!

By Neil Harrington

I never laughed so hard in a movie theatre than I did for the 2004 film, DodgeBall: A True Underdog Story. Patches O’Houlihan’s brand of DodgeBall and blunt (trama)-like humor had me rolling on the floor — with my spilled popcorn.

Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, and David Hasselhoff bring their A-game in this film; providing one of the all-time comedy classics.

I’ve always wanted ESPN 8 “The Ocho” to be a real-life channel and also, to compete in Las Vegas for the DodgeBall championship.

Thankfully for me, and any person containing any bit of humor in their bones is in luck. One of my wishes will be granted — for a day, at least.

According to the press release, ESPN is transforming ESPN 2 into ESPN 8 “The Ocho” for 24 hours on August 8th.

The channel will rebrand ESPN2 for 24 hours of obscure sports coverage, including competitive eating, dodgeball, chessboxing, kabbadi, darts, sumo wrestling and cornhole.

JUST IN: ESPN will bring “ESPN 8: The Ocho” back to ESPN2 on August 8th with a whole day of random sports programming, will show “Dodgeball” movie pic.twitter.com/zfyryq6ujX

— Darren Rovell (@darrenrovell) August 1, 2018

These other sports are about as useless as a poopy flavored lollipop. I want DodgeBall!

ESPN heard my cry for more “balls” — wait, poor choice of words. Anyways, ESPN 8 “The Ocho” will also air the movie DodgeBall in its entirety, and showcase the DodgeBall World title on primetime TV.

Game on!  It is on like Donkey. Kong.

Time to clear my calendar, head to the local Liquor store on my moped with my bodyguard Me’Shell — and get ready for some Dodgeball!

If you need a refresher on the sport of DodgeBall, Patches has you covered!

Remember the five “D’s” of DodgeBall.

1. Dodge
2. Duck
3. Dip
4. Dive
5. Dodge

Don’t forget, if you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.

Also, if you can dodge traffic, you can dodge a ball. Don’t try this at home, folks. I’ve tried it myself and paid the price. Dearly.

Is it necessary to bring back ESPN 8 “The Ocho?”

Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine? No, but I do it anyway because it’s sterile and I like the taste.

It’s a tremendous thing that the powers to be at ESPN like their own urine, too; bringing this gem of a channel back for 24 hours. I also am glad, that ESPN 2 is transforming into “The Ocho” once again, for a day of obscurity and nostalgia.

Next Post: Ryan Lochte: Stupid is as stupid does

Time to grab life by the balls, for at least one day this year.

Ready. Set. DodgeBall!