NFL

Cleveland Browns: We suck again!

For whatever reason, I’ve heard a lot of hoopla about the Cleveland Browns. For whatever reason people seem to think this team could be a winner in 2018. But, let’s be realistic for a minute…

By Payton Woolsey

The Cleveland Browns, will “suck again.” You can take that to the bank right now. Well, if you bet on the Brownies, you’ll have nothing put on your deposit slip.

Winning would require their quarterback not to destroy an ACL, or a shoulder, or an elbow. Oh, by the way, their quarterback is either Baker Mayfield or Tyrod Taylor.

I’m not sure exactly why the Cleveland Browns ever picked Johnny Manziel 2.0, aka Mr. Mayfield; but it’s going to end in disaster as it did for “Money Manziel.”

You can take it to the bank that the Hunchback, mouth-breather (Mayfield) isn’t going to be an NFL quarterback for very long. Tyrod Taylor isn’t a viable (long-term) starter, either. He’s okay, but he’s not a franchise quarterback.

If Taylor is giving old Mayfield a run for his money — gee whiz, they must be desperate.

Oh, but how can we forget about their “elite” receiving squad?

Josh Gordon, as always, looks incredibly confident. After talking and bragging about how good they were going to be, he is now on the injured reserve for anxiety.

I’m not sure what he’s been doing besides watching his first, and lone touchdown of last year on replay —  which was his first touchdown since 2014 —  so, money moves.

I’m sorry if I take what this guy says with a (minimal) grain of salt. I’m not sure what he’s been smoking, but it must be some GOOD stuff — because homeboy is trippin’.

Jarvis Landry,  their new acquisition at wide-out, has been very outspoken about the Dark Horse predictions.

He’s also very new and doesn’t realize how terrible of a situation he has just found himself in — but it’s cute for him to think the Browns are going anywhere beyond Week 17.

Sure, Landry will put up Pro Bowl numbers — all accumulated in garbage time from Taylor. But, he’s trippin’ if he thinks the Browns are playoff caliber in 2018.

The Browns also possess my boy Nick Chubb. Old Chubb is a baller but do you think he can ball-out, having no help on the defensive end?

Absolutely, not.

I don’t like to kick a man, or a team in this case, while they are down. But there is a  legitimate reason that this team who continually gets the first round pick year in and year out, sucks.

It goes way beyond off-the-field antics, on-the-field plays, mentality, moral or beyond the front office and their terrible decisions.

It goes beyond their terrible coaching staff, who seems to get worse the second they sign a contract with the Cleveland Browns.

No, the real reason the Cleveland Browns suck so much is profound. It’s deep down in the bones the heart and soul of the Cleveland Browns fan. It’s in their DNA.

It’s in the culture.

The “Dawg Pound” hope and pray — live, eat, and breathe Cleveland Browns football. And their absolute favorite thing for them to do is watch the Browns lose on Sunday Night Football — are they ever good enough to be on Sunday Night Football?

You can always find and point out a Browns fan; drunk sitting in the corner mumbling about how Jim Brown is the greatest running back of all time.

Unfortunately for their loyal fanbase, reminiscing on Jim Brown is the only good feelings they’ll receive from their beloved Brownies this season.

The Cleveland Browns are going to suck in 2018, as they always do.

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But par the course, “experts” continue to make preseason Super Bowl predictions for this team, only to see them fall flat on their face with a 2-14 record.

And if you think the Cleveland Browns are going to be good this year, you can get out of my face, because your breath stinks.

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